Things I should be really awesome at

... but, frankly, am not!

1.  Time Management
     "But, you go to school full time, and you have two small children, and you still bake bread!" you say.  Well, yes, that is all true.  Here, let me give you an example...  Right now, I have an unfinished speech (that I have to deliver this afternoon) sitting on my desktop just waiting to be finished.  BUT, this website is just. so. shiny.

(and I haven't blogged in forever)

2.  Cleaning
      Yes, I have to do it all the time.  And, practice makes perfect... at least, that's what they say.  As anyone with two small children and a husband who thinks that organization is for sissies can attest to, the job is never ending.  I give up.  (Please keep that in mind as you shuffle the toys aside while you're walking through the living room)

3.  Remembering
     Oh, did we have a lunch date?  Weird. I have zero memory of that.  Sorry. Wanna reschedule?

4.  Writing
      Yes, I am aware that writing is what I do here.  Yes, I have to write 12,457,896 words a semester.  Still, I'm pretty sure that my fellow students are just rattling off papers that take me hours (or days) to write. I comfort myself by pretending my papers are just that much better.

5.  Being On Time
     I'm better than I was.  I swear.  Those who knew me before, will remember that if you wanted me somewhere on time, you needed to tell me to be there about an hour before you really wanted me there.  You can amend that to 30 minutes now.

6.  Keeping In Touch
     Of course I love you!  Silly.  I just won't call, text, chat or email.  I'll think about doing those things often, though.

7.  Understanding What You're Trying To Say To Me
     Go ahead and just spell it all out for me.  I'll get it... eventually.

8.  Saying "No" 
     Can I do this extra thing for you that I have no time to do?  Of course!  In fact, I'll do that other thing too.

9.  Answering The Phone
     Its not that I'm bad at actually answering the phone.  I mean, I can totally push a button and say "hello."  But, if you ever do catch me answering your call, go ahead and feel lucky.  I don't like to answer the phone, I don't like to talk on the phone, and I really don't want to stop what I'm doing right now.  So, for god's sake, leave a message after the beep!  I might check it later, and (if its important) I may even call you back.  Maybe.

10.  Remembering Things.
       What's that?  Oh, I already did this one?  Are you sure?  Oh, you're right... there it is, number 3!  Funny, I have no memory of that.